My family are not religious, but there was a strong sense of Christian moral values as I was growing up. I went to a C of E primary school, but I wasn’t really exposed to who Jesus was. I realised my own mortality at the age of seven. I went downstairs to say goodnight to my father, who was watching a movie called Deep Impact. It’s a disaster movie about an asteroid on course for Earth. They send up a team of astronauts to blow the asteroid up. A small chunk hits Earth and causes a tsunami that kills thousands of people. I walk in just as this is all happening and suddenly the realisation hit me that someday I’m going to die. I spent the next two weeks crying myself to sleep at the thought of this. I manage to put this to the back of my mind but started thinking of ways to avoid dying. Years later in a Religious Studies lesson at secondary school, we were introduced to a concept called Pascal’s Wager. Pascal’s Wager is as follows:
There are a few problems with this idea, but what it does reveal is that there is a comparatively small cost of believing in a deity that doesn’t exist compared to not believing in one that does. It made me interested in faiths as this was something that would help me overcome my fear of death if nothing else. Sometime later in the year I was invited by a friend to a PBC Youth Christmas social where I was told about Generator. I’d met some cool people and thought “Why not give it a go? If I don’t like it I’ve only lost a Thursday evening.” So I went along and starting hearing about Jesus and everything He had done for me. One evening after Mark had finished the talk, he then asked if anyone wanted to become a Christian. I sat there thinking “Do I believe this? Do I really think that this Jesus guy did all this so I could enter in to a relationship with the creator of the universe?” However, I didn’t respond, but as I walked home I kept thinking about all that had been said. Once I got home I went upstairs to my room and there and then I started to pray accepting Jesus as my Lord and Saviour.